Are you a man? I have a message from your future self -

Tue 12 May, 11:02 (last edited on Tue 12 May, 11:19)

Miles, why are you encouraging blokes to bet?

£500 is a significant amount of money, and recommending gambling on a horse race can only make your target audience doubt your judgment. I now (belatedly) see that the race isn't happening, but it's still in pretty poor taste. 

Obviously your target audience clearly doesn't include me! 

Tue 12 May, 09:56

"Please start some sort of exercise now so I'm slimmer, stronger, healthier, and happier. Also, put £500+ on 100/1 odds, 'Neighmar' at the 3:50 at Cheltenham, tomorrow"

Find the sport/exercise that works for you. If you think that might be Pilates come along to a free class in Charlbury Community Centre, every Wed at 6pm.

https://www.charlburypilates.com/men-s-pilates